“You’re So Angry”: The Narcissist’s Favorite Deflection

How narcissists twist your feelings into control—and the tools to take your power back.

“You’re so angry.”

This is Narcissist 101—a textbook tactic used to deflect, control, and make you second-guess your reality.

But your anger? That’s not the problem.

Have you ever been told you’re “so angry” in a moment when you were simply telling the truth?

It’s a quiet line. Subtle. Disguised as feedback. But it’s not about helping you self-regulate—it’s about shutting you down.

This phrase is a hallmark of emotional manipulation. It reframes your valid reaction as the issue, not the behavior that caused it. It doesn’t invite conversation—it invites self-doubt. It plants a seed: Maybe I am angry. Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe I should be quieter, softer, smaller.

The truth is:

Anger isn’t the issue. Their behavior is.

When someone has hurt, exploited, gaslit, or disrespected you, and you finally call it out? That’s not “anger.” That’s clarity.